Fear

For a second there, I was frozen. My body went numb and my heart stopped.

It felt as I was restrained, caught in a madman’s dream. That second seemed like an eternity, trapped in a lonely world, frozen and watched by every fear I have ever had, judged by my every choice I had ever made that brought me here. My mind being overflowed with terribly and gruesome imagery, of future outcomes that could not be described easily, for its macabre nature exceed the mind of the sane. Why I was to be haunted by such repulsive sceneries I could not answer.

Before I knew what was happening I was running, for everything that I used to hold dear, for every hope I ever had, every struggle I had in life, for every life I had touched, for every person I had loved, for everything I wanted to accomplish before my life’s flame were to be extinguished. I ran through the city, blinded by the city’s everlasting darkness and fueled by the fear of what may hide in it. Without stopping I felt my breath running short, the cold breeze of the city’s night air, fighting my face with every step. With my adrenaline pumping I kept running, not knowing if whatever evil back there were to be following me.

One’s body can only endure so much physical strain before giving up. So I miss-stepped and fell hurling down at the pavement, face first, scraping both hands and knees in the process.

I felt sweat running down my face, dripping from my nose towards the pavement as I tried to stand, my hands bleeding, aching with my hearts every beat. My heart was beating faster than ever before; I was just trying to catch my breath, until that thought struck me.

Had I manage to escape the grasp of my unknown assailant?

I began to slowly turn my head to check behind me, when I noticed I was right in front of my building. I took my remaining strength and stood up, eagerly checking around me, to see if there was anything there that might had followed me here.

To my relief there was nothing to be seen, except the dark maze of buildings that was the town. So I took my bag with my drinks and stepped towards the door. Exhausted and being a nervous wreck made me fumble a great deal with the keys to the door, but finally after calming my nerves and regaining my stamina, I managed to open the door.

Once inside my apartment, I feared to turn on the light. I fear of letting any entity know my whereabouts. For I had never experience such horrifying fear before this very night, even though given the circumstances seemed improbable, surely it had amplified the fear of the situation.

Although I found some comfort of being back in safety of my quarters, I almost never stop watching at the door. Waiting for it, my impending doom, that had been implanted by whichever thing that lurked in the shadows.

I sat in my couch, trying to calm myself; I reached for a bottle of alcohol, but never losing sight of the door. I slowly opened the bottle, quietly, as if anybody was listening after a sound that I would make.

The whiskey burned my throat as it went down; feeling the warmth in my cold body helped me relax. After a few drinks, I went up from the couch and barricaded my door with my old closet. The task had made me a bit uneasy as it made a lot of sound moving it. But after it had been about 1 hour, with no sound of anybody or anything I finally relaxed completely.

The night was spent drinking and calming down from today’s events. Trying to collect my thoughts and trying to plan what to do next, trying to make sense of it all. But after a few drinks, my mind was yet again foggy, now by the sweet embrace of alcohol. The more I drank, the more my mind was slipping, and my focus disoriented, until finally,

I fell asleep.