Born from flames

The situation was beyond comical; I couldn’t even laugh at the overwhelming nature of it.

For me not being able to laugh it off put me of balance, I had always been able to find the joke in it all. As if I could understand the playful nature of god, and see that we are nothing but mere entertainment for him. I could always see the absurd reality that was and face the truth with a smile, that we are nothing more than a child’s play thing. But upon seeing this scenery I could no longer find the punch line in its actions, because this wasn’t as much as child’s play as it was a madman’s rampage, trying to find beauty in destruction.

Perhaps it was the effect of my new hangover, but I could not do anything but stare, as the city was engulfed by the flames. It was an indescribable sensation, as the flames illuminated the night sky. I could not help but be fascinated by this spectacle, as the hopelessness of the situation left me in awe.

And that’s when I saw her, just on the other side of the riverbed.

A girl around my age, dressed in a black Sunday dress, staring at me from the shadows of the flames.

Her eyes penetrated my whole being, like a blue flame, burning through my very soul. Laying waste to everything in its path, leaving a trail of blazing hellfire we’re it once was.

And like that, she had burned an imprint of her in my mind, an imprint that would last until the day of my dying breath.

That was the first time I ever saw Cinaed

Light In the dark

My father used to say to me “Hell is other people”.

He was an intelligent man, a man of code and honor, a man of integrity and pride.

But a man who has known hell, he was not. For he was a very solitary man and not exceedingly fond of other people. He made that unboundedly clear the day I turned 18 as he threw me out with no second thought and with no remorse.

I also shared his ideals on people; this of course was before the incident.

Before the darkness and its soul crushing emptiness.

For no man will ever find hell with company, as the ultimate despair is loneliness.

_______________________________________________________________________

I woke up with a jolt, my eyes open as fast as I came to.

Everything was fuzzy; the only thing I could see was a blurry ray of light plowing through the dust from the curtains. Everything was so cloudy; my thoughts were out of focus, memories faded as soon as they came. How long have I been out of it? What had happened? What day was today?

Then everything came back to me; the despair, the heart–wrenching anxiety, the fear.

My headache made it impossible to think, I had to go out on the balcony, I had to get some fresh air.

The light was blinding, had I really slept throughout the night?

But as soon as my eyes had adjusted to the scenery that was laid out in front of me, it was already too late.

For I had not slept throughout the nights as I had previously though,

No, this light came from within the darkness of night.

For I will never forget the morning I saw a sea of flames, dancing on the rooftops of a dead city.

Intermission/Dream

Thunder is striking, wind’s blowing strong, a maniac’s laugh surrounds the sea.

He is standing in front of the steering wheel, with soulless eyes he gazes upon the coming storm.

His laughter grew by the second, almost as he could overpower the sound of the ocean.

But this was no laughter of a man in fear, for the captain knew, that he could never return from once he came. This was the laughter of a man without fear, without restrains, the only thing calling for him was but the voice of adventure.

The crew, a bunch of useless land crabs, was trying to keep the ship steady, but did so with great difficulty.

The captain laugh had been silenced by the screams of his crew, which begged their captain to turn back and wait out the storm.

He had grown furious with them, as his expectations still were with his last crew, whom he had lost, not a forth night ago, to a monstrous beast with more limbs then can be counted.

The captain had not been able to save anyone, but his flag and ship.

All else had been condemned to a cold death in Davy Jones locker.

The captain, as he was getting furious to the helpless cry of his pathetic crew screamed “I’ll cut ye, ye yellow-bellied bilge-rats! Quit ye jabbering and hoist the mast! For tonight we not even death would follows us into this hell!”

The storm raged on and the captain regained his lust for adventure, his crewmates chose to try their luck with the storm rather than facing death by the captain’s hand.

The waves crashed into the ship, people fell overboard and drowned. All this while their captain mind drifted further from the boat as his insanity grew due to his great loss.

When suddenly, silence.

The Queen Ann’s revenge stopped for a second, as it would appear that they have landed in the eye of the storm. The captain grabbed his bottle from his belt, and drank his rum like it was the last thing he would ever drink.

After drinking his whole bottle, he turned to his first mate and said while chuckling “Brace yourself, ye parrot-loving landlubber! The Fun has just started”

As the boat once again returned to the storm, the captain grew anxious.

Something wasn’t right; the waves should be coming at us harder.

That’s when the mighty beast showed his limbs at the starboard side.

The captain screamed to his crew “Load the cannons, the devil is upon us!” as he drew his sword.

The monster grasped the ship and started to slowly pulling it down under, but to no avail as the cannons were blazing while the madman of a captain laughed maniacally.

As the beast grew closer the captain rushed to confront it, with sword in one hand and a new bottle of rum in the other.

Then, as soon as the creature was within reach, the captain leaped while screaming “Damnation seize my soul if I give you quarters, or take any from you.”

And that was the last time anyone saw the Queen Ann’s revenge or its captain Edward Teach, who was also known as Black Beard.

Fear

For a second there, I was frozen. My body went numb and my heart stopped.

It felt as I was restrained, caught in a madman’s dream. That second seemed like an eternity, trapped in a lonely world, frozen and watched by every fear I have ever had, judged by my every choice I had ever made that brought me here. My mind being overflowed with terribly and gruesome imagery, of future outcomes that could not be described easily, for its macabre nature exceed the mind of the sane. Why I was to be haunted by such repulsive sceneries I could not answer.

Before I knew what was happening I was running, for everything that I used to hold dear, for every hope I ever had, every struggle I had in life, for every life I had touched, for every person I had loved, for everything I wanted to accomplish before my life’s flame were to be extinguished. I ran through the city, blinded by the city’s everlasting darkness and fueled by the fear of what may hide in it. Without stopping I felt my breath running short, the cold breeze of the city’s night air, fighting my face with every step. With my adrenaline pumping I kept running, not knowing if whatever evil back there were to be following me.

One’s body can only endure so much physical strain before giving up. So I miss-stepped and fell hurling down at the pavement, face first, scraping both hands and knees in the process.

I felt sweat running down my face, dripping from my nose towards the pavement as I tried to stand, my hands bleeding, aching with my hearts every beat. My heart was beating faster than ever before; I was just trying to catch my breath, until that thought struck me.

Had I manage to escape the grasp of my unknown assailant?

I began to slowly turn my head to check behind me, when I noticed I was right in front of my building. I took my remaining strength and stood up, eagerly checking around me, to see if there was anything there that might had followed me here.

To my relief there was nothing to be seen, except the dark maze of buildings that was the town. So I took my bag with my drinks and stepped towards the door. Exhausted and being a nervous wreck made me fumble a great deal with the keys to the door, but finally after calming my nerves and regaining my stamina, I managed to open the door.

Once inside my apartment, I feared to turn on the light. I fear of letting any entity know my whereabouts. For I had never experience such horrifying fear before this very night, even though given the circumstances seemed improbable, surely it had amplified the fear of the situation.

Although I found some comfort of being back in safety of my quarters, I almost never stop watching at the door. Waiting for it, my impending doom, that had been implanted by whichever thing that lurked in the shadows.

I sat in my couch, trying to calm myself; I reached for a bottle of alcohol, but never losing sight of the door. I slowly opened the bottle, quietly, as if anybody was listening after a sound that I would make.

The whiskey burned my throat as it went down; feeling the warmth in my cold body helped me relax. After a few drinks, I went up from the couch and barricaded my door with my old closet. The task had made me a bit uneasy as it made a lot of sound moving it. But after it had been about 1 hour, with no sound of anybody or anything I finally relaxed completely.

The night was spent drinking and calming down from today’s events. Trying to collect my thoughts and trying to plan what to do next, trying to make sense of it all. But after a few drinks, my mind was yet again foggy, now by the sweet embrace of alcohol. The more I drank, the more my mind was slipping, and my focus disoriented, until finally,

I fell asleep.

Darkness

The liquor store.
(Picture taken from http://tenthousandtendrils.tumblr.com/)

 

In the end my voice was gone, and the only sound that was to be heard was the echo of my voice, flowing through the vast emptiness of the city.

Soon there was nothing. Nothing but a fragile man, alone in both mind and place. Wondering where the world went.

Hours past, and I hadn’t moved even once. I just lay there in the middle of the plaza, blankly staring at the sky. I couldn’t think clearly, although i don’t know if it was because of the hangover, or the current situation I am in. But I lay there, watching day turning into night, feeling no hunger, no exhaustion, only despair and confusion.

Eventually I was able to muster up the strength to get up and do something, just anything. While everything seemed hopeless and unnecessary I also recollected the thought; I could do anything I want. Even though that sounded like an unreal thought, it gave me some comfort.

While standing there, I thought of what I was to do now. My head was rushed with thoughts and ideas. But every thought was in a haze, clouded by my feelings. Focusing on a simple thought proved almost to be fruitless. Until I finally was able to concentrate on one simply plan. Go home, sleep it off and try tomorrow.

But in the current despair my heart was drowning in, the thought of sleep seemed like impossible dream. Though tired I might be, the recollection of today’s events would surely haunt my dreams, and once again I was dumbstruck in the hopelessness of the situation.

I thought of nothing that could give me solace except the dulling kiss of alcohol. So I cleared my thoughts, and began my quest to find probably the only comfort that I have ever had relied on.

While alcohol was probably nothing but a temporarily solution to my current dilemma, it was the greatest solution I had been able to come up with. Seeing as not only would it help me “sleep” but also dull my senses and perhaps clear my head.

And thus I began to search for the only liquor store in this small town.

The search wouldn’t have been so long if it wasn’t  for my newly found disorientation in the darkness of the town. But after what seemed like an eternity I finally stood in front of the store.

The building was rather big but the store itself was but  a small piece of this building. As I stood there I did not so much find relief as I found my heart being overwhelmed by this sadness, of all the memories when I went there shopping, meeting the nice clerk that always smiled, the one time I helped an elderly man buy his whiskey and nodded politely towards his racist joke or when with my then current girlfriend, too drunk to walk properly, fell into the freezer while getting some ice. Everything, now gone in the blink of an eye, while the only thing that remained was the giant concrete skeleton which now only seemed as a monument to the past glory of humankind.

While reminiscing about the past, I almost forgot what I had come here to do, to find enough alcohol to drink myself to oblivion.

So I promptly went into the store, gathering every different kind of drink I could imagine I would enjoy. Of course the only thing that I took was hard liquors, seeing as anything less would only slow down the process

But while gathering the necessities for tonight’s sleep I was struck by this sublime feeling of fear and uneasiness. Granted, I had felt that during the whole day, but this was different, it felt like I was being studied, almost like a predator studies its prey.

After getting what I needed, I started walking home. The city was still as dark as ever, seeing as it was still the middle of the night it wasn’t that much of a surprise.

About half way home, I felt this uneasiness once again, something lingering in the shadows, an ominous presence, following me, studying me, watching me.

When suddenly my brain screamed

”Stop!”

And my right foot froze in mid-air.

Silence

Silence, I have grown to despise it.

Feels like the world is mocking me, silently judging me.

It’s ironic when i think about it, not too long ago i craved the monotonic bliss that was silence.

As i recall, everything started with just that.

The day started not too different as to any other day.

I woke up in haze of cigarette smoke and a foul stench from what i imagine was a soup of various bodily fluids mixed in an unflushed toilet. Not to mention a hammering headache accompanied with an unholy sensation in my gut, which could only be described with words like “tenderized” and “erratic”. While laying there in bed I closed my eyes (fully aware than any attempt to go back to sleep would be in vain) and searched for the usual sounds in the morning commotion. To my surprise and delight, i heard nothing. It would seem the gods have decided in my favor to let me suffer through this hangover in peace.

After laying there contemplating suicide to get rid of this self-inflicted torture, I finally stumbled out of bed. After putting on a cup of coffee I wobbled to the window to take a smoke, just enjoying the silence while sipping on my coffee. The coffee was stale and tasteless, but I guess I should be happy, thinking about my salary that I even have coffee.

After the morning pleasantries I got dressed and walked out of the apartment.

First on the agenda is going to the pizzeria next to my house, pay off my debt to that greedy Greek. But to my surprise, the pizzeria was close, which was weird since it has never happened before; I guessed he must be sick or something along those lines. But I gave it no second thought. During my venture through town I was bothered by the lack of people, granted it was a small town in the outskirts of the city, but still someone should be seen.

The more I walked the more my anxiety grew, where was everybody? Did something happen?

What was going on?!

I went from walking to running through the streets, looking for anyone, I went in to stores, police stations and schools without finding a trace of anybody. Finally I ended up at the town square, feeling a panic attack coming. I screamed at the top of my lungs “IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?!ANYONE?! “

“ANYONE?!”

Sorry

I’m sorry but due to unforseen events i have to push up the deadline to this Wednesday 19/9 – 2012.

 

Complaints can be placed in my care box, which is located in the nearest trash can.

The start of something great.

Hi!

I’m going to keep this short.

This blog will be about a  story, that i will update every 2 weeks if possible.

The whole reason is because i always wanted to do a bigger project, and if people would find their way here and start reading, that’s just a bonus.
The first update will happen this week. With a deadline at Sunday 16/9 – 2012.

So if anyone by any chance is reading this before any other post, I salute you. and if you stay, you may be a part of something great.

Constructive criticism is always welcomed

That’s all for now.